The Idaho Convert
My Stake President, President Sponenburgh was sharing his conversion story the other night and he said something I really liked, because I know it's true! He said, "Before I actually received the message, God was preparing me to receive the message. I would drive in my car and think about Jesus Christ for no reason and I didn't understand it until it happened." That's what so cool about the spirit of missionary work, EVERYONE can be compared to a seed and every seed is at a different level, but in order to grown into a big tree the seed has to be well prepared!
Growing up I found myself questioning and thinking about the Saviour very often, probably more than an average child would. I know now how much God prepared me to receive his gospel.
I remember when my sister and I were playing in the trailer park, there was this rock hill over by the train tracks and we would often sneak away and play on this rock hill. Those moments I spent on that hill I reflected on three experiences I had as a young child. First, I went to a Christian church with our neighbour Archie. Archie was very close to our family, we called her grandma. I remember one thing about this Sunday at church. I remember hiding in a bush singing, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!... let it shine, let it shine, let it shine." Second, I had a precious moments doll that when you squeezed her tummy she said this small prayer, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Lord my soul to keep. May Angels watch me through the night and keep me in their blessed sight, Amen." I would say that small prayer with my doll every night! Thirdly, I remember swinging on our creeking swing set on a warm summer day looking up at the sky and seeing almost like a pillar of light coming through the clouds. My sister and I loved those kinds of days. We always said that God must be having a meeting with all the angles right now. I loved the sky, it gave me hope. When it rained I thought the angels were crying and on those dark stary nights I remember thinking every star represented an angel that was looking down on us, protecting us. Those were my childhood encounters with our Heavenly Father and they kept me wondering as the years went on.
Through every trial I questioned my purpose, my value, my worth and it always led me back to thinking about Jesus Christ. I had heard from kids at school that Jesus Christ was their hero and I never quite understood it. I wondered if he had saved them, why wasn't he saving me! Surely he had time to be my hero too! As time moved on things changed. We moved from Pocatello, Idaho to Blackfoot, Idaho. My mom married a really good man named Derek and we had many cherished memories together. Growing up in the small town of Blackfoot from age 5-Now, I moved to different areas quite often so as I child I went to three different elementary schools and they were all similar in the fact that there was a big population of Latter-Day Saints in my classes.
There was something different about those Latter-Day Saint kids... I never did master knowing exactly what it was in school, but they just seemed... happier. Like I said they would talk about this guy named Jesus Christ as their hero, they would sing this popcorn song that there was popcorn popping on apricot trees and I just didn't understand it at all. But I always wanted it! Whatever they had I wanted it, but being at such a young age I didn't know how to get it.
It even got to the point that every year when we went trick or treating there were these houses that when the door opened, it was like love had just hit you in the face! This overwhelming sense of peach, joy and love! They had pictures of these beautiful white buildings hanging on the wall behind them and once again that guy Jesus Christ. I knew they were different.
Well, as I kept feeling these little impressions and had thoughts here and there about the Saviour... it lead me to have this amazing experience! When I was 11 years old I was at my friend Belle's house, her mom was my moms best friend and she was mine! We were practically sisters. I wanted to spend all my time with her! She had the coolest polly pockets and really cute littlest pet shop animals, so I spent a lot of time at her house. They had pictures of these white buildings too and that guy Jesus Christ, but I never really asked them questions. They didn't go to church every Sunday and I wasn't even sure how to word the questions I had. So I never really asked.. then one day while I was playing at my friends house. Two men in white shirts and ties knocked on the door. They were invited in and they came in and told us about a guy name Joseph who had his prayers answered. It caused me to reflect on my prayers... Then they invited my sister and I to be baptized a couple weeks later! We said yes, but we quickly shied away from the idea.
Those Elders came back to my house and knocked my door EVERYDAY at 4:30 for two weeks! And EVERY TIME my sister and I saw their car pulling up the drive way, we hid underneath my moms bed in her room. To this day I cannot tell you why I hid, other than those Elders intimidated me and that we had mastered our army crawl by the end of those two weeks. Well I didn't completely lose contact with the church, although I did lose contact with the Elders. I would go to church here and there when my moms friends would go. I loved it. It gave me this good feeling inside, a happy feeling! A feeling that I had never really felt before. Years passed and I would randomly show up at young woman's mutual, girls camp, and sometimes church.
During those years of semi-activity I had many spiritual experience that I will never forget! I will share a couple... I remember one girls camp that changed my life! The theme was something along the lines of, "I Can Only Imagine." Which felt like described my whole perspective of God, I had absolutely no clue who He was what He taught, nothing. I could only imagine... but at this particular summer girls camp we had so much fun! We sat in the cabin and watched a video of all of us girls and our families and it was playing a sweet song called, "I Can Only Imagine." Then we went on the spiritual journey/hike and we were required to wear blind folds and walk along this path by holding on to the rod and never letting go or else you would get lead astray. There were people who tried to tempt us to let go, they would say things like, "Taylor your sister fell and is hurt come help her and let go." We just had to keep going, keep pressing forward.. representing Lehi's dream. When we got to the end there was a tree. There were Christmas lights on every branch of the tree! and pictures of our families hanging on the trees. They once again bore powerful testimony of eternal families. My sister and I knew what we needed to do and we cried a lot. It broke our heart knowing we didn't have that in our life and it warmed our heart knowing we could have it if we wanted!
There is one other special experience I remember from these years was a day that I went to young woman's and we were making time capsules. In our time capsules there were many cool things and memories, but one of the coolest things was that we wrote a letter to our future husbands.
In my letter I said,
"Dear Prince Charming,
I hope that you are funny, nice, and a worthy priesthood holder. I hope that we get married in the Salt Lake Temple and we raise our family strong in the Gospel.
-Taylor"
When I looked back and read this letter that I wrote before I had even made the decision to get baptized, I remembered how much I wanted to be sealed to someone. I still can't wait for that day!
Years continued to go by and I continued to participate in young woman's activities every once and a while. I loved the times I spent around people from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Time around the always felt different, I felt different. I felt a sense of love, and belonging. I felt this indescribable peace! This joy I was feeling continued to increase as I become closer to my good friend Kadie! I started spending many weekends in a row at Kadie's house and it was always part of the deal that if I stayed at her house I had to go to church with her on Sunday! I loved it! Every Sunday I would borrow church clothes because so personally didn't own anything that one would wear to church.
Time went on and Kadie finally invited me to meet with the Elders again. I was a little apprehensive at first, remembering the days that I use to spend army crawling from the front door to my moms bedroom, but I agreed that I would meet with them. In the first meeting Elder DeVaney looked at me and said, "Taylor, why are you meeting with us?" My young fourteen year old brain pondered the reasons for our meeting for a quick few seconds then I responded, "Well, you Mormons are always happy, even when things are hard you're happy and when I am with you I feel happy." Elder DeVaney looked at me and said, "Taylor let me tell you why you feel happy, actually you just reminded me of a scripture in the Book of Mormon... Alma 27:18."
Which says, "Now was not this exceeding joy? Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness."
Elder DeVaney then said, Taylor the reason you feel this joy is because YOU ARE the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness and that's why YOU feel this exceeding joy!
In that moment I KNEW the Book of Mormon was written for me! That that book was something that was going to help me have the peace I was looking for! We then watched Joseph Smith's restoration video. While watching this video I had a life changing experience... As our Heavenly Father called Joseph by his first name I KNEW that He knew my name. I knew he knew who I was, he knew what I was feeling and this changed everything for me. Growing up I NEVER felt like I had a father who knew me and loved me. I never felt like I had a father figure in my life and that day I discovered that THAT DOESN'T MATTER! I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and knows me and that's all that mattered! I knew that this was the path for ETERNAL lasting happiness and I wanted to do all I could to take that path!
Heavenly Father has a path for each of us! He gives us these small experiences and journeys to help us grow. I am so grateful for the growth I have made so far! I am so grateful for the Elders who sacrificed there time to find me. Heavenly Father is knocking on all of our doors, it's up to us to let him in.
Growing up I found myself questioning and thinking about the Saviour very often, probably more than an average child would. I know now how much God prepared me to receive his gospel.
I remember when my sister and I were playing in the trailer park, there was this rock hill over by the train tracks and we would often sneak away and play on this rock hill. Those moments I spent on that hill I reflected on three experiences I had as a young child. First, I went to a Christian church with our neighbour Archie. Archie was very close to our family, we called her grandma. I remember one thing about this Sunday at church. I remember hiding in a bush singing, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!... let it shine, let it shine, let it shine." Second, I had a precious moments doll that when you squeezed her tummy she said this small prayer, "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Lord my soul to keep. May Angels watch me through the night and keep me in their blessed sight, Amen." I would say that small prayer with my doll every night! Thirdly, I remember swinging on our creeking swing set on a warm summer day looking up at the sky and seeing almost like a pillar of light coming through the clouds. My sister and I loved those kinds of days. We always said that God must be having a meeting with all the angles right now. I loved the sky, it gave me hope. When it rained I thought the angels were crying and on those dark stary nights I remember thinking every star represented an angel that was looking down on us, protecting us. Those were my childhood encounters with our Heavenly Father and they kept me wondering as the years went on.Through every trial I questioned my purpose, my value, my worth and it always led me back to thinking about Jesus Christ. I had heard from kids at school that Jesus Christ was their hero and I never quite understood it. I wondered if he had saved them, why wasn't he saving me! Surely he had time to be my hero too! As time moved on things changed. We moved from Pocatello, Idaho to Blackfoot, Idaho. My mom married a really good man named Derek and we had many cherished memories together. Growing up in the small town of Blackfoot from age 5-Now, I moved to different areas quite often so as I child I went to three different elementary schools and they were all similar in the fact that there was a big population of Latter-Day Saints in my classes.
There was something different about those Latter-Day Saint kids... I never did master knowing exactly what it was in school, but they just seemed... happier. Like I said they would talk about this guy named Jesus Christ as their hero, they would sing this popcorn song that there was popcorn popping on apricot trees and I just didn't understand it at all. But I always wanted it! Whatever they had I wanted it, but being at such a young age I didn't know how to get it.
It even got to the point that every year when we went trick or treating there were these houses that when the door opened, it was like love had just hit you in the face! This overwhelming sense of peach, joy and love! They had pictures of these beautiful white buildings hanging on the wall behind them and once again that guy Jesus Christ. I knew they were different.
Well, as I kept feeling these little impressions and had thoughts here and there about the Saviour... it lead me to have this amazing experience! When I was 11 years old I was at my friend Belle's house, her mom was my moms best friend and she was mine! We were practically sisters. I wanted to spend all my time with her! She had the coolest polly pockets and really cute littlest pet shop animals, so I spent a lot of time at her house. They had pictures of these white buildings too and that guy Jesus Christ, but I never really asked them questions. They didn't go to church every Sunday and I wasn't even sure how to word the questions I had. So I never really asked.. then one day while I was playing at my friends house. Two men in white shirts and ties knocked on the door. They were invited in and they came in and told us about a guy name Joseph who had his prayers answered. It caused me to reflect on my prayers... Then they invited my sister and I to be baptized a couple weeks later! We said yes, but we quickly shied away from the idea.Those Elders came back to my house and knocked my door EVERYDAY at 4:30 for two weeks! And EVERY TIME my sister and I saw their car pulling up the drive way, we hid underneath my moms bed in her room. To this day I cannot tell you why I hid, other than those Elders intimidated me and that we had mastered our army crawl by the end of those two weeks. Well I didn't completely lose contact with the church, although I did lose contact with the Elders. I would go to church here and there when my moms friends would go. I loved it. It gave me this good feeling inside, a happy feeling! A feeling that I had never really felt before. Years passed and I would randomly show up at young woman's mutual, girls camp, and sometimes church.
During those years of semi-activity I had many spiritual experience that I will never forget! I will share a couple... I remember one girls camp that changed my life! The theme was something along the lines of, "I Can Only Imagine." Which felt like described my whole perspective of God, I had absolutely no clue who He was what He taught, nothing. I could only imagine... but at this particular summer girls camp we had so much fun! We sat in the cabin and watched a video of all of us girls and our families and it was playing a sweet song called, "I Can Only Imagine." Then we went on the spiritual journey/hike and we were required to wear blind folds and walk along this path by holding on to the rod and never letting go or else you would get lead astray. There were people who tried to tempt us to let go, they would say things like, "Taylor your sister fell and is hurt come help her and let go." We just had to keep going, keep pressing forward.. representing Lehi's dream. When we got to the end there was a tree. There were Christmas lights on every branch of the tree! and pictures of our families hanging on the trees. They once again bore powerful testimony of eternal families. My sister and I knew what we needed to do and we cried a lot. It broke our heart knowing we didn't have that in our life and it warmed our heart knowing we could have it if we wanted!
There is one other special experience I remember from these years was a day that I went to young woman's and we were making time capsules. In our time capsules there were many cool things and memories, but one of the coolest things was that we wrote a letter to our future husbands.
In my letter I said,
"Dear Prince Charming,
I hope that you are funny, nice, and a worthy priesthood holder. I hope that we get married in the Salt Lake Temple and we raise our family strong in the Gospel.
-Taylor"
When I looked back and read this letter that I wrote before I had even made the decision to get baptized, I remembered how much I wanted to be sealed to someone. I still can't wait for that day!
Years continued to go by and I continued to participate in young woman's activities every once and a while. I loved the times I spent around people from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Time around the always felt different, I felt different. I felt a sense of love, and belonging. I felt this indescribable peace! This joy I was feeling continued to increase as I become closer to my good friend Kadie! I started spending many weekends in a row at Kadie's house and it was always part of the deal that if I stayed at her house I had to go to church with her on Sunday! I loved it! Every Sunday I would borrow church clothes because so personally didn't own anything that one would wear to church.
Time went on and Kadie finally invited me to meet with the Elders again. I was a little apprehensive at first, remembering the days that I use to spend army crawling from the front door to my moms bedroom, but I agreed that I would meet with them. In the first meeting Elder DeVaney looked at me and said, "Taylor, why are you meeting with us?" My young fourteen year old brain pondered the reasons for our meeting for a quick few seconds then I responded, "Well, you Mormons are always happy, even when things are hard you're happy and when I am with you I feel happy." Elder DeVaney looked at me and said, "Taylor let me tell you why you feel happy, actually you just reminded me of a scripture in the Book of Mormon... Alma 27:18."
Which says, "Now was not this exceeding joy? Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness."
Elder DeVaney then said, Taylor the reason you feel this joy is because YOU ARE the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness and that's why YOU feel this exceeding joy!
In that moment I KNEW the Book of Mormon was written for me! That that book was something that was going to help me have the peace I was looking for! We then watched Joseph Smith's restoration video. While watching this video I had a life changing experience... As our Heavenly Father called Joseph by his first name I KNEW that He knew my name. I knew he knew who I was, he knew what I was feeling and this changed everything for me. Growing up I NEVER felt like I had a father who knew me and loved me. I never felt like I had a father figure in my life and that day I discovered that THAT DOESN'T MATTER! I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and knows me and that's all that mattered! I knew that this was the path for ETERNAL lasting happiness and I wanted to do all I could to take that path!
As I continued to meet with the Elders, Kadie and I would get so excited for the days we knew we would see the Elders! This excitement continued to grow and I saw my happiness increase! On the 19th of March 2011 I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! I was rescued my my Saviour Jesus Christ and the seed that was once planted only continues to grow!
Heavenly Father has a path for each of us! He gives us these small experiences and journeys to help us grow. I am so grateful for the growth I have made so far! I am so grateful for the Elders who sacrificed there time to find me. Heavenly Father is knocking on all of our doors, it's up to us to let him in.
So let him in.
Thank you for sharing your story! You are a wonderful young woman of Faith! Keep Calm and Carry On!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading it! I do love you and miss you!
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